“Why are you so skinny?”

“Were you this big before?”

“Did you lose a few pounds?”

“Have you been eating a lot more?”

These types of questions, as harmless as they seem, are actually quite offensive to a lot of people. In fact I find any comment about someone else’s body quite rude. If you’re expressing concern, great. But there’s a much better way to approach the situation.

Body image is a sensitive topic and I’ve been wanting to address it for quite a while now, especially since so many people have such a negative view of their own. No one really likes people commenting on their body. I definitely don’t, even if they’re saying that I lost weight. That awakens my eating disorder and it becomes a downward spiral from there. I don’t like it when others comment on their own or other people’s body negatively. Maybe I’m just overly sensitive to these kinds of things but it makes me feel like the comments are indirectly pointed towards me.

Now that summer’s just around the corner, body shaming is at it’s peak. I constantly have to listen to and read about people degrading themselves because they don’t look “perfect” in a swimsuit. And I’m not just talking about women. But can you blame them? Look at all the headlines for magazines and commercials.

“Get your bikini body with five minute workouts and eating a thousand calories a day.”

“Check out which celebs are prepared for the summer and which… need to lose a bit of tummy.”

“Buy this possibly toxic product that unsourced doctors recommend and you’ll lose five pounds in five days.”

Okay, so they’re not exactly like that but that’s what I get out of them. The media does promote health but also only considers a certain body type as “attractive”, which of course promotes unhealthy body image.

And this brings me to the point of this unnecessarily long blurb: we all have different body types! Shocking, I know. We were born with a “set” weight that is considered “normal” for each and every one of us. If we eat regular, balanced meals, then we will be at the optimum weight we were meant to be in. Believe it or not, we are all actually born with a set amount of fat cells that remain constant throughout our lives.

Some people are naturally smaller than others, have a faster metabolism, or have more muscle. It all just has to do with genetics! But I’m not saying diet and exercise don’t count. If you’re not training to be an Olympic athlete or anything like that, the correct amount of both help you maintain your optimum weight. I know how difficult it is to accept. My dietician for my group at the hospital told us all about this last year but it’s still just sinking it.

We’re always going to face these types of comments, no matter how much we try to avoid them. For instance, it’s normal in my culture to point out someone’s weight so it’s inevitable for me. These days I’m still quite sensitive to any type of comment regarding my body but I’m working on it. So I caution you to choose your words wisely. You don’t know how someone is going to respond to a certain comment.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t allow others to make you feel insecure about yourself. No one has the right to do that to you.

Written by Deirdre. Originally posted on her personal blog.

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